Pain
by Kiki Warbler
Summary: Ted tries to figure out where this pain is coming from. What happens when the Glamazon tries helping him?


_Pain, without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

'_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

There, I said it. I'd rather feel hurt, anger, rage, and pain than feel this hole that's been buried deep inside me. I don't know how I got this way. I was a happy person most of my life, then suddenly, something snapped. And I ended up living my life in a perpetual state of angst. Which is fine, it suited me for awhile…until it ruined my relationship. Melina Perez was my whole life. I spent two and a half years worshipping the ground she walked on. Until one day she up and left me. She left me because I didn't appreciate her enough.

"You and me, Teddy…we don't match up anymore. It's like all of this anger and pain and resentment has consumed your life. And what do you have to be bitter about? You're finally getting the respect you deserve!"

"Yes! From everyone but you…you don't get me Mel, you never have!"

And that was the last I saw her. But it's whatever. Last I heard she was shacking up with Jake Hager. Good riddance, let Jake deal with her drama. I don't need a woman to make me happy. I am happy. I travel the road three hundred fucking days a year, I go home like three times a month, I see my dog. I do my laundry. I go back out on the road. Whoo-hoo, story of my fucking life. Here I am, another arena, another town. And I'm trying to find my way through the arena, and just as I round the corner, I ran into a brick wall. Or what I thought was a brick wall. Turns out it was just Elizabeth. Elizabeth Carolan. Beth Phoenix to some, plain old high strung bitch to me.

"Damn it DiBiase, watch where you're going."

"Wow Liz, kill the attitude."

"Beth. My name is Beth. And screw you!"

She said, walking away. I shrugged and walked into the locker room that was designated for me. Sure, sometimes it was hard to be around someone who was happy in a relationship, but I shut down. It was just easier for me than accepting reality. And in my reality, I was succeeding at work, but failing at life. Sometimes I'd wondered if it were easier to just give up, but I was a DiBiase, and us damn DiBiase's we don't quit. I threw my bag on the floor and looked around. I knew that it was going to be easy to get in, wrestle and get out. But why did that suddenly look like it would be harder than it looked? Because standing in the doorway of my locker room was the ice queen herself, Beth Carolan.

_You're sick of feeling numb_

_You're not the only one_

_I'll take you by the hand_

_And I'll show you a world that you can understand_

_This life is filled with hurt_

_When happiness doesn't work_

_Trust me and take my hand_

_When the lights go out you'll understand_

"What do you want Beth?"

"I'm here to pull you out of this funk you're in. Come on.. I want to show you something."

She said, tugging my hand. I followed her out of the locker room and shook my head and rolled my eyes. I just wanted to crawl under a hole and die. There was no reason for me to live…none. I just was going to throw myself into my work and continue to let the pain eat at me.

"What are you showing me?"

"That everyone hurts, Ted. Not just you. You walk around here moping all the time."

"I do not mope, Beth. I just think it's better to feel pain, than nothing."

"I know that, but people just hurt in different ways. Now…follow me."

She said, as I followed her through the arena. We'd stopped in front of the office of Stephanie McMahon. Beth poked her head in and motioned for me to follow. I poked my head in and saw Stephanie on an intense phone call and she had pain written all over her face. Beth leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"Stephanie's on the phone with her lawyer. Paul sprung divorce on her. It came as a huge shock. She's still reeling. Stephanie's heart's broken too."

I felt for Stephanie. I did. If I'd had a heart, I'd have given mine to her. I waved at Stephanie who waved back, and we continued on. We were now in catering and I spotted Adam Copeland without his hip attachment, Maryse close by. I wondered if Maryse had left him too.

"Maryse dumped Adam for Randy. Painful really, because we all thought that Adam and Maryse were gonna make it. Shame too. I'm ready to beat the hell out of her, just for that."

And then we continued on. We headed to another part of the arena. This was the gym area. I saw several superstars there, and then it was one that mattered. I knew that we'd get to the heart of things soon enough, and when we did, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't know how to react when Beth told me what she did next.

"Mark Callaway. Just got married. You know, married Steph's adopted sister, Ali. Your best friend…Ali's been in an accident, Ted. And Mark's taking it hard, because he caused it. Or so he thinks. He needs your support."

I hadn't heard that Ali's condition had changed. I think it worried me that I'd been so wrapped up in my own pain, that to feel someone else's was an inconvenience for me. These were all my friends, and I was so preoccupied in feeling my pain, that I couldn't feel theirs. But what they didn't know is that I felt theirs. I felt their pain everyday.

"So, what are you?"

"What am I?"

"Yeah, are you my social conscience?"

"I like to refer to myself as your Ghost of Christmases Past, Present and Future. Now, look at me. I'm not exactly in the greatest mindset right now, either. You know, Matt dumped me, because he fell for Joshua Harter, you know, Chris Sabin? Yeah, well…now I've got to move out, because Josh is moving in. So yeah, my life sucks. I'm over it. We all know Melina left you. But grow up and get over it."

She said. And she was right, I should. I should be there for my friends, but for some reason, I just couldn't let go of my pain enough, but what I saw in Beth's eyes shocked me. The pain that I saw in my eyes everyday, was just as evident. I did the one thing I could do in this situation, I hugged her. She was just as stunned as I was. I was so shocked that I walked away.

_Pain, without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

'_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

_Pain, without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

'_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

I made my way around the arena to the people I'd just visited with my self proclaimed 'Ghost of Christmases Past, Present and Future.' and sat and briefly spoke with them, starting with Stephanie McMahon. I could tell that she was hurting as well.

"Hi Steph."

"Hey Ted, how's it going?"

"I'm hanging in. Worried about Ali, Melina broke up with me. My parents are divorcing, worried about you."

"About me?"

"Sure. Beth told me that you were divorcing Paul, and I wanted to say I'm sorry. I wanted to say that I really feel bad."

I wasn't bluffing either. Paul and Stephanie had been inseparable for as long as I could remember, and word of their divorce came as a shock. I'd been living in a perpetual angsty state, that it seemed like when all of my friends needed me, I was too busy being angry. I put my hand on top of hers and patted it softly. She sighed and nodded her head.

"Thanks Ted. I'm sure Ali's going to be okay. You might wanna go check on Mark though. He fell hard for her, and this can't be good for them. They were trying for a baby, because it's what Ali wanted."

I knew all of this. My confidante, the reason I was breathing, my best friend and one-time lover was the actual reason I felt this way. If Ali weren't in an ICU somewhere, I'd be here and in a much better mood, because she'd have said to me _'God Theodore, suck it up, there's much bigger problems in the world than your whorish girlfriend.'_ And she would've been right, because they are. I left Stephanie a few minutes later, then went to see Adam who was still sitting in the spot that Beth and I saw him at. I sat down in front of him and talked to him for a little bit, before making my way towards the gym. He was still in the corner, and he was on the phone. I walked up to him and he hung up. I knew this was coming, I just hadn't been sure when. And now it happened.

_Anger and agony_

_Are better than misery_

_Trust me I've got a plan_

_When the lights go off you'll understand_

"Hey man."

"Hey Ted."

"How's it going? How's our girl?"

I said, shaking his hand. I watched his eyes light up, and then he sighed softly. I knew it was very touch and go. Mark was very accepting of my friendship with Ali, because we were lovers at one point, and we'd both realized that we were better friends than lovers. He sat down on the weight bench, and I sat on a bench across from him. He was in pain, hell, I was in pain. This was a girl we both loved, and we wanted her to live.

"She's strong. There's been no change in her condition. I mean, both of her legs are still broken, and her brain is still swollen. They can't operate on her until the swelling goes down, and that could take days. I've taken a bad injury, and I can't do much. I'm having surgery to repair the break in my face on Tuesday. Teddy, you've got to go and sit with her."

I nodded. I wanted to see her. Maybe confess my sins to her. I know that she wouldn't talk back, and maybe it would settle me down a little in terms of my mental stability. Then I could apologize to my friends and maybe move on. I took the information from Mark, and found my name on the list.

"If I didn't put you on, and she woke up and found out, she'd have me castrated and my balls in a jar."

He said, at an attempt at humor. It worked. I'd smiled for the first time in weeks, and it made me happy in a weird way. Ali would be pissed if she discovered I wasn't in that room. I walked away from Mark a little bit later and got in my car. I needed to drive, and since I wasn't being used on Raw, I figured that I could go to the airport and go see her. So I did. I flew from Florida to Houston, and walked into the hospital. I took a deep breath and went to the room that she was in. Where the doctor stopped me.

"Excuse me, sir. Family only."

"I'm on the visitor's list."

"Name?"

"Ted DiBiase."

The doctor scanned Ali's visitor list and she spotted my name, as I was given access to her room. I looked at her and sighed. I sat down next to her bed and took her hand. I had a lot to say, and it needed to be said. So, I spoke softly to her.

_Pain, without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

'_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

_Pain, without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

'_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing_

_Rather feel pain_

"Alison. Come on sweetie, wake up. It's me, Teddy. Just open those pretty hazel eyes for me, please? Okay, fine. I'll just sit here and talk. You listen. My life is shit. Okay, shit. Melina broke up with me, and Beth Carolan is suddenly my Ghost of Christmases Past, Present and Future. But, I do have to say, she is rather beautiful in her way. I do enjoy her company when she's around."

"Then go be with her, Teddy. Damn you're such a downer."

Ali said, suddenly. I looked at her and noticed her eyes were wide open. I didn't know how normal that was, but I was suddenly glad she was awake. I immediately took out my cell phone and took a picture of her. I needed everyone to know she was awake. The first person I showed was her husband.

"You're awake."

"I've been awake."

"How long?"

"Right after my beloved left. Teddy, what happened to his face?"

"He wrestled Oscar at a Smackdown taping and Ozzie botched the move. Cracked his Orbital bone."

"No…poor baby. When's surgery?"

"Tuesday. He dispatched me to come babysit you."

"I do NOT need to be babysat. But apparently, you do."

I put my head down. I didn't need to be babysat either, but there wasn't anything I could say to change her mind.

"Ali…I'm miserable. Does that make sense?"

"Makes perfect sense. But you need to go about changing that, Teddy. I may be in this hospital for a significant amount of time, but I'm awake. And my own husband doesn't know."

"Yes he does. I just told him. He's on his way. Moot point, remember? This is about me. How do I go about making Elizabeth Carolan not hate me?"

"Stop being so fucking angry. That's how. So what? Melina dumped you. Big fucking deal. You can't live you life in a constant state of anger. This is NOT the Ted DiBiase I know and love. So, you go back to Raw, you go up to her, and do what you have to do. Ask her out on a date. Be nice, schmooze her. Be the classy Teddy, not the angry Teddy."

And right away, I knew that she was right. I kissed her hand softly, and walked out with a promise to call her later. I sent the doctor in and said that she was awake, and headed back to the airport. I had a promise to keep to my best friend, and I was going to keep that promise.

_I know (I know I know I know I know)_

_That you're wounded_

_You know (You know you know you know you know)_

_That I'm here to save you_

_You know (You know you know you know you know)_

_I'm always here for you_

_I know (I know I know I know I know)_

_That you'll thank me later_

I knew Ali was right. She was always right. I knew that I had no reason to be bitter. All I knew was that my life wasn't as bad as I thought it was. So, I called a friend of mine who had Beth's number, and got that. Then called her myself. Oh yeah, this was going to be fun. I waited as it rang, and then she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Beth, it's Ted."

"DiBiase?"

"No Smith, yes DiBiase."

"You're a funny guy Ted. How did you get this number?"

"Jay Reso. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for being my Ghost of Christmases past, present and future. It made my day, and it also helped me realize that everyone's having a shitty week. As did the awakening of my best friend."

"Ali's awake?"

"Yes Miss Glamazon, she is. Anyway, I was wondering, since you saved me, would you escort me out to dinner?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone. I thought that I'd lost the connection. But I could still hear her breathing, so I knew that I was okay. And that made me happy.

"I….will. I will have dinner with you, Ted. Yes. If you promise me that you'll leave the anger at home."

"I will. I promise. I think that I'll have a perpetual smile on my face for awhile."

"Good. I've gotta be at Smackdown on Tuesday, but I'm off the road for awhile, we'll meet up then."

"Sure, I like that. Okay, goodbye Beth."

"Goodbye, Teddy."

She said, hanging up. And right away, I knew I'd done the right thing.

_Pain, without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

'_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

_Pain, without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

'_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

_Pain, without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

'_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

_Rather feel pain than nothing at all_

_Rather feel pain_

I have a great job. An amazing girlfriend. Two great best friends, a goddaughter, a dog. And yet, I still feel pain. But not bitter, angry, resentment pain. This is physical pain. Pain that makes me wake up knowing that I'd spent so much time harboring the anger. And that, makes me want to be an amazing boyfriend to Beth. And an even better friend. And a great godfather. And that's why I'm in a good place…


End file.
